I am feeling your pain…
Meetings with direct reports that are likely to raise controversy are one of the things any manager hates, right?
Well yes…if that’s what it looks like to you.
One of the biggest problems with anticipating problematic meetings…is anticipating problematic meetings…
Let me explain: Often when i work with a manager one on one and we roleplay a difficult conversation that they have coming up the fact that they expect difficulties translates into tension in their bodies, strain in their voices, a kind of forced stare in their eyes and a sort of fight or flight attitude that would make anyone have to react negatively.
In essence by anticipating difficulties in meetings…we create difficulties in meetings! (That’s the “law of attraction” gone wrong)
Instead do this:
1.Before the meeting focus on how you are going to make the meeting one that benefits your direct report.
2. Mentally rehearse doing a great job getting a positive outcome for both of you.
3. When in the meeting focus on managing your state. Your state is important. Because if you are stressed and expecting difficulties your direct report will be infected by it. So relax in the knowledge that you have done step 1 and 2 and help your direct report stay resourceful and open…by being resourceful and open yourself!
Good luck with your next former difficult conversation…
Stephan Erdman
If you want help from your “secret” Manager Coach…just send me an email detailing your challenge and I will do my best to help you.
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